When I was a kid, I was terrified of ghosts.
According to my parents, I was six times more scared of them than the average joe.
They said that was creepier than any ghost could be.
Funnily enough, not a single ghost ever appeared in front of me,
even though I would've been like a bonus stage to them.
Before long, I came to the conclusion that ghosts aren't real.
In that moment, I became invincible.
Because there's nothing scarier than ghosts.
Then again, it's not like ghosts were real to begin with.
What are you mumbling about? You're creeping me out, man.
Oh, speaking of ghosts.
Something's been making folk...
crap themselves near here lately.
What?!
Anyway, my house is this way, so bye.
I pulled something in my neck.
That shaved head jerk. Why would he say something so unsettling?
Crap themselves.
"Crap themselves"?
By "something," does he mean a ghost?
No! Impossible!
There's no such thing as ghosts! And nonexistent beings can't do stuff!
Therefore, only I can make myself take a crap!
So if I take a dump first, nothing can make me crap myself!
Yes, that all makes logical sense!
Fwoosh.
Huh?
Who's...
...there?
SPONGE GOURD
MYSTERY 1
Ah, what a glorious morning.
Let's fold my futon away and brush my teeth while doing a little stretching.
What are you doing?
Sh-She has legs.
Which means she's not a ghost.
Sheesh. Don't scare me like that.
I just turned around.
You're the one flashing everything below the waist.
Eyes up here, perv! There's a reason as deep as the ocean for this, okay?
Let's hear it, then. What's your reason?
All right! You'd better open those ears wide and listen good!
Not anatomically possible.
Ghosts have been making folk crap themselves.
So I figured I'd beat 'em to the punch by dropping a deuce first!
Wait. That's not deep and it makes no sense.
So you're scared of ghosts, huh?
Huh?
These...
These are...
Will-o'-the-wisps. Basically, ghosts. Well?
Strange. I'm not scared of them at all.
What if it has a face on it?
Cute.
I knew it.
Whatever. It doesn't matter anymore.
Maybe I should take a dump here, too.
Whoa, hold on. I haven't gone yet, you know.
I don't know what's going on, but don't just give up like that.
You can talk to me if you want.
Asking's a fleeting embarrassment. A dump in public haunts you forever.
You're a kind person.
This world is full of mysterious legends about apparitions, ghosts,
and all kinds of supernatural phenomena.
In other words, ghost stories.
Yeah. When I was a kid, everyone used to love that stuff.
Well, did you know there's an organization behind it all?
It's called the Kaikigumi.
We terrify folk and send them into a frenzy. I'm the boss of that organization.
What...
What a messed-up way to make a living!
Do us all a favor and quit!
Believe me, I get it. I mean, you saw, right?
I'm horrifyingly bad at scaring people.
A couple of years ago, the previous boss died.
And as his daughter, I took over as the new boss.
But everyone got fed up with me and eventually left.
So that's it.
The reason I don't hear ghost stories like I did when I was a kid
is because the Kaikigumi is weaker now.
I can't keep it up by myself, so I'm thinking of calling it quits.
You idiot!
I've been afraid of ghosts my whole life.
I've even pissed myself just thinking about them!
And after all these years, the first ghost I see
is that totally harmless will-o'the-wisp?
I want a do-over!
You don't get to let me down like that and then suddenly retire!
Didn't you just tell me to quit?
But in that case...
You can help me.
Huh?
I don't know what fear feels like, so I don't know what scares people.
But you know all about it, don't you?
T-True.
But should I really get involved in something so bizarre?
Despite what I said, life would be a lot more peaceful...
Hold on. Would that make me part of the last generation to fear ghosts?
Will future generations grow up and lead happy lives, never fearing ghosts?
No fair!
Okay.
Let's give it a shot.
Why'd you just yell "No fair!"?
A NEW KAIKIGUMI IS BORN!
And so, a new Kaikigumi came forth.
First things first: Let's talk about your face, boss.
Frankly, you're way scarier than that will-o'-the-wisp of yours.
We'd be crazy not to make use of that!
Let's make a mold and start a production line—
Any other ideas?
Let's change the group's name to the Hulk-igumi.
Nope.
You're...
a mega wacko.
Mega wacko.
Mechako?
Wh-What the heck are you doing in my room, Mechako?!
Who's this "Mechako"?
I came in during the night.
Are you kidding me?
You promised you'd help me with the Kaikigumi, remember?
This room feels like a prison cell.
Let's get down to business.
So you're here for a reason?
I've been reading this as part of my research.
Don't tell me you're actually talking business.
What?! A book of ghost stories?!
A BOOK OF SCARY THINGS THAT COULD HAPPEN AT SCHOOL
You have a weird way of screaming "What?" y'know.
Sh-Shut up.
I wanted to ask you about this phenomenon known as the "Cursed Thirteen Steps."
Ah, yeah. I've heard of it.
But I've avoided books like that my whole life, so I don't know the specifics.
It's fine. I'll teach you. It goes like this—
Hey! Don't just drop a scary story on me like that!
A staircase with twelve steps—
...suddenly gains one more.
Becoming thirteen steps in total.
What's so scary about that?
Oh, so you don't get it either?
I mean, where's the scary part?
Lemme see that book, Mechako.
A BOOK OF SCARY THINGS THAT COULD HAPPEN AT SCHOOL
Th-Th-This! Right here! Right here! Right here!
It says if you step on the non-existent thirteenth step,
the ghost of a death row inmate kills you and sends you straight to hell!
Don't leave out the important part!
That's the important part of this phenomenon?
We have a serious problem.
But that's the most far-fetched part.
Because who exactly confirmed you end up in hell if you die?
Isn't a random extra step way more of a concern?
You'd trip.
So I have an idea.
This is a pretty good staircase, right?
It's not at a school, and it clearly has more than twelve steps.
Don't sweat the small stuff.
Lie face down for me.
What?
Whoa! What the...
What the hell are you doin'?! Go play somewhere else!
What do you think? We'll strike fear into people by adding a single extra step.
It's the New Kaikigumi's "Cursed Thirteen Steps."
You moron!
This is just being annoying!
Getting yelled at by random old dudes is the thing I hate second-most after ghosts!
Look out—
No! Stay back, Mechako!
If the two of us fall together, we might end up switching bodies!
Then I'll pass out every time I look at myself in the mirror!
Oh my god! What happened to you two?
Did you fall down the steps? Are you hurt?
What's going on?
We need help here! These two fell down the steps!
Are you okay? Do you want us to call an ambulance?
My goodness. Falling down the steps... You've gotta be more careful!
As it turned out, Mechako and I didn't switch bodies.
Instead, people just kept coming over to gawk at us.
They fell down the steps! It was so scary!
This is hell!
Ah, what a glorious morning!
It's great waking up before my alarm.
What time is it?
I'VE TURNED YOUR CLOCK INTO A DARTBOARD. — PHANTOM THIEF DARTS
BEHOLD! PHANTOM THIEF DARTS IS HERE!
What?
THIS SUITS YOU. — PHANTOM THIEF TOFU SKIN
PHANTOM THIEF TOFU SKIN, AT YOUR SERVICE!
Rise and shine, lazybones.
Your breakfast's getting cold.
Who are you?
Bravo. You saw through my disguise. I am Phantom Thief Mother.
Until we meet again.
A CHALLENGE FROM PHANTOM THIEF MOTHER!
What's with all these phantom thieves not actually stealing anything?!
Damn it.
Thanks to those weird thieves, I'm late for school. This sucks.
You look unhappy, young man.
Huh?
Go ahead. Touch my loincloth.
L-Look, everyone! This guy's only wearing a loincloth!
It's no use.
No one else can see me.
A man in a loincloth that only I can see?
Who in the world is this guy?
A while back, there was a legend that went like this:
Some company's truck had a loincloth painted on its side.
It was said anyone who touched it would be blessed with good luck.
Sounds like an urban legend, but I've never seen a truck like that.
That truck vanished a long time ago.
But the strength of faith in those who believed in the legend gave birth to me,
the Loincloth Incarnate.
So not the truck, but the loincloth?
Now, young man.
Touch my loincloth and happiness shall be yours.
Go ahead and touch it if you believe luck isn't on your side.
It's true.
I haven't had much luck lately. Maybe I should touch it.
Still, this feels weird.
Here goes nothing!
You can only grasp happiness after chasing it with all your might.
Don't think you can touch this loincloth so easily!
You're the one who insisted I do!
Now I'm pissed. What's with your self-righteous lecturing?
That's it! I'll touch that loincloth, no matter what!
I'll touch that loincloth, no matter what!
Too slow.
Damn it.
What's the matter, young man?
Stand up.
Get to your feet and seize your good fortune.
Almost.
I'm so close, damn it.
I'm not done yet!
What is that?
Mechako, you can see him?
You're not the boss for nothing.
Huh.
So you'll be blessed with good fortune if you can touch that loincloth?
Yup.
Even so, don't push yourself too hard.
What?
You already look all beaten up.
A little luck will only get you back to parity at best.
Shut up!
I simply can't back down at this point!
Sure. It'd be a waste to quit now.
The real battle starts here.
Victory is mine!
Damn it! Why can't I touch it?
Is this what you've been doing since this morning?
Your spirit is admirable. Most people would've given up long ago.
Or perhaps you're simply that desperate for happiness. How pathetic.
Decide if you're complimenting me or insulting me!
I see. So that's it.
You're so fixated on your goal, you've lost sight of everything else.
What?
Don't be ridiculous, Mechako. I always look at things objectively...
I was only looking at the loincloth.
That's why I couldn't keep up with him.
I see. I get it now.
The more you lose sight of what's around you,
the more your happiness slips away.
Excellent! You finally figured it out!
You finally noticed. That's exactly right.
Why'd you have to shout the first time?
Many chase good fortune so desperately, they lose sight of everything else,
and end up driving happiness away.
Those who once believed in me were no different.
You've won me over, young man.
I shall not move from this spot. Good fortune is yours.
A-Are you sure?
You're letting someone as foolish as me touch your loincloth?
Thank you. Thank you.
Just touch it and get it over with already.
It's warm!
So concludes my legend.
Farewell.
So is he completely naked now?
Well? Do you feel like something good is coming your way?
Huh?
No, not at all.
I'm wiped and insanely late for school.
My luck's hit rock bottom.
School?
Why are you going to school on a Sunday?
What? Today's Sunday?
Come to think of it, yesterday was Saturday.
I see. So it's Sunday, huh? Guess I won't be late after all.
Lucky me.
Huh?
Happiness and misfortune are all a matter of perspective.
And so is...
fear.
Hey, why do you have a urinal bottle?
Oh, that?
When I was a kid, I was super afraid of going to the bathroom at night.
I couldn't sleep because I'd get so worried about what I'd do
if I had to go while I was in bed.
After thinking it over, I finally said, "Screw it. I'll just go here if I have to."
Just having one of these by my bed helped me sleep.
It's a good-luck charm for a good night's sleep.
Huh.
So you don't really use it, then?
Of course not.
The last time I used it was two or three months ago.
Urinal bottle!
TO BE CONTINUED.
NEXT MYSTERY... MYSTERY 2